Being told you are no longer employed is one of the most stressful experiences an individual can undergo.
Right off the bat, you gotta deal with the aftershock. Watch your words and actions because one wrong move could really mess up your chances of getting hired again.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Emotional outbursts or arguments with the ex-employer. They serve no purpose and may harden the company's stance against you in regard to severance issues. For whatever reason, the employer has made a decision to discharge you. That decision is not going to change. Your first impulse may be to want an explanation, but the employer is under no obligation to let you know their reasoning.
In our experience, people are discharged usually because someone in authority no longer likes them. Other "official versions" are given but the real reason usually comes down to likability.
The urge to sue. Trying to "get even" by suing an employer can be extremely damaging to your career. Suing your former employer could essentially make you invisible to potential employers in the job market. Most prospective employers shun anyone who has sued a former employer, although such discrimination is illegal. That applicant becomes branded as a litigious person, diminishing the prospect of returning to the workforce in an equivalent or better status, whether or not the suit is successful.
Before entertaining any thoughts of suing, ask yourself how you would react if you were an employer with several qualified candidates, one of whom turns out to have sued a former employer. Would you risk hiring the one who sued? Chances are you would not, out of fear of being sued yourself at some point.
Burning your bridges behind you. "Telling the ex-employer off" is a great temptation, especially in the immediate wake of being discharged. That is another ill-advised action, though, which can boomerang. You should leave without acrimony or criticism, no matter how strongly you feel. You may need the ex-employer for a reference (even though fewer companies are giving references these days).
There may be former associates and friends at the company whom you will want to have as references as well. If you launch a diatribe against the employer and leave under a cloud of anger, that action will be reported around the company. You are much less likely to get a favorable reference, even from friends who would otherwise be disposed to help you.
There is also the possibility that you may need something else from the company at some future date. Plan on leaving with dignity and calm. It shows you are a class act.
Dumping on your family. They're not to blame for your dismissal, so don't make them endure your anger and frustration. You may say things in the heat of anger that will impair your relationships with the family. Do not take that chance.
Do not make the mistake of trying to hide the discharge. Tell your family what has happened. Keep it factual and to the point. Get every family member on board with your job search. Let them know you're confident about landing another job. Especially where children are concerned, trying to conceal a discharge can have damaging effects. You do not want them to overhear it at home or "on the grapevine" at school.
THINGS TO DO:
Immediately find a close friend, a confidante to whom you can vent your feelings. This is critical for your emotional recovery. You have to let your negative feelings out, not bottle them up. You need someone with whom you can be irrational without fear that the conversation will be repeated somewhere else. In lieu of a close friend, it could be a doctor or clergyman - but do not try to contain your feelings. Clearing the air is essential, or you will be burdened with emotional baggage that will hamper the effectiveness of your new job search.
Give yourself a break from the job market for a few days. Jobseekers frequently make the mistake of re-entering the job market too soon. Use the cooling-off period to regroup your thoughts and chart your plans for the ensuing job search, including preparing your resume.
School yourself to think positively. It may be hard at first, but you have to regard your situation positively. You have not been fired; you have been given an opportunity to start over in a better job somewhere else.
Establish a daily routine. Keep busy. When you are unemployed, you suddenly have large blocks of time that were formerly filled by your job. Beware of developing a tendency toward idleness by keeping busy. Regular business hours should be devoted to interviewing on a nonstop basis.
Make your preparations for the next day's interviews the prior evening so that you do not waste time during the business day. Above all, do not while away time on the golf course, in front of the TV set or waiting for the phone to ring with a job offer.
Establish a personal routine that includes arising at your usual hour, exercising and scheduling some periods of recreation.
Keep up your normal social contacts. When faced with unemployment, some individuals respond by pulling back and avoiding their usual social connections. You should not try to hide from the world. There is absolutely no shame attached to being unemployed, especially now when so many people have become victims of mass layoffs and downsizing, through no fault of their own. The contacts you make on social occasions can provide important job leads, so you should not wall yourself off from those sources.
Do not take a vacation. Taking a vacation takes you out of the job market. You have to account for your time to prospective employers, and most are reluctant to hire people who have a long period of unemployment. It does not look good to a prospective employer that you were snorkeling in the Bahamas rather than looking for work.
Draw up a budget that conserves your assets. You may have vowed numerous times to cut back on unnecessary expenses, but now you must. Start with a basic spending plan that includes mortgage or rent, auto payments, food, insurance, gasoline and the expenses of job hunting. If you have income left over, budget for other expenses on a priority basis. By the way, well documented job-hunting expenses may be tax deductible as long as you are seeking a job in the same field as your last position.
A final note - keep telling yourself you will find a better position that will make you happier than you were in your last job. It nearly always works out that way.
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